What is the purpose of church?

I get a lot of polar opposite thoughts on church from acquaintances:

- "Church is man-made and really doesn't do too much for me spiritually"
- "It is wrong to not go to church."

As I'm finding out more and more, reality is usually somewhere in the middle of ideology. Churches are influenced by their parishioners and many a church could seem more earthly than heavenly when filled with the self-righteous, the judgmental, the gossipy, and the cliquish. Having said that, however, learning about heavenly matters is tough on one's own- surely discussing, sharing ideas, contemplating during sermons, and working to help others all have the potential to broaden one's understanding of universal purpose.

As a kid I usually liked to go to church. There was Sunday School- which was like regular school only some of the kids didn't go to my regular school so it was a chance to play with other kids I didn't normally see. There was usually some type of food- especially at potlucks. One Lutheran church I went to had fastnacht- which was a fun and crazy time of food, drink, dancing, skits, singing, and acting. Retreats usually were in the mountains or at lakes and those were definitely fun. Mixed in with all that were lessons on God and the Bible and these things stoked my curiosity of heavenly topics. I slowly started to seek answers to questions we didn't really touch on in school: why are we here?; what is the purpose of life?; how should we live and why?

As I got older Sunday was more of a day to recover from Saturday. I felt uncomfortable going to church alone and even after I got married it seemed more like a families-with-kids kind of place. But, I never really felt any passion about going to church at that point- it seemed more like a social club to me than anything else.

After children came along I started seriously thinking more about church and wanting "to belong". I remembered the good feeling of belonging from when I was a kid and wanted the same for my children. Since joining a few churches now for several years I think there are some obvious positives to going to church:

- it helps one broaden their social contacts. It is spiritually and emotionally healthy to have more contacts than just family and work. Church allows one to meet others that one might not normally meet. Church members may need help at times and this allows beneficial relationships between people that normally might not exist- especially in today's world of the Internet, suburbs, and TV.
- discourse is increased. Lots of books have been written on the importance of discourse in improving understanding. Reading the Bible at home is good, but talking about the Bible with others leads one to hear different ideas and attempt to articulate one's own ideas- many times a prerequisite for deeper understanding.
- Churches usually help others. At the least they help their members when they need help. Usually, though, the membership attempts to help locals in need and even those in other countries. Charity helps others and it helps the people giving it too.

But, does Church always help people, or, conversely, is it required? Would love to hear thoughts on this- because I think I know the answers, but I'm not sure. I have heard horror stories of some churches being more hurtful than helpful and I have thought at times that it would be really hard to understand God if one didn't go to church. Is there only one answer? Is this a false choice?

I do, however, think the key is discourse. If the theorists on complexity are correct and it is difficult for one person- no matter how smart- to come to greater understanding about complex subjects through only self-study- then church is probably more important than I thought. Discourse might actually be required to greater understanding of God. It might not be required to get into Heaven- but maybe it is required to understand the possibilities of what Heaven means.